There have been numerous moments over the past year where we’ve found ourselves thinking, “This can’t actually be happening. Is this a joke?” Alas, more often than not, it’s not a joke. But that doesn’t stop us from wishing that they were. Here’s to wishful thinking, the beginning of the fourth (already!) month in 2017, and to some of the most beguiling things that we wish weren’t true.
1. Donald Trump’s Election
With the President’s recent policies on health care and more, we probably speak for millions of people when we say that we wish Trump’s coronation as the POTUS is a massive April Fool’s prank and that Hillary Clinton — or better yet, Bernie Sanders — is going to come out and say, “Hah, gotcha!” successfully revoking the title from him. Maybe if we all wish it hard enough, it’ll come true?
, we probably speak for millions of people when we say that we wish Trump’s coronation as the POTUS is a massive April Fool’s prank and that Hillary Clinton — or better yet, Bernie Sanders — is going to come out and say, “Hah, gotcha!” successfully revoking the title from him. Maybe if we all wish it hard enough, it’ll come true?
2. Uday Chopra’s Twitter
If you haven’t witnessed the glorious acid trip that is Uday Chopra’s Twitter, you’re missing out on some serious entertainment. His Twitter is hilariously popular for off-beat jokes to straight-up nonsensical rants. We don’t know if it would be better if his Twitter persona turned out to be an elaborate prank or if Uday Chopra really is a profoundly trippy individual who needs to be preserved and protected from the world.
Yes, do you remember this clusterfuck? The hashtag #NotAllMen, was tweeted by numerous Indian men in response to reports of a mass molestation of women in Bangalore. This led to a surge of pissed-off Indians ripping apart this ill-conceived hashtag and using it mockingly all over the internet. How we wish the original thought behind #NotAllMen was just a silly prank.
4. Jaani Dushman
This brilliant train-wreck of a film will always have a special place in our hearts and garbage cans. This mythological fantasy/romance/action/sci-fi film may not have been meant to be funny, but everyone can agree that it’s one of the best jokes conceptualised in India. We’re aware that it’s probably been too long since this came out for it to be a prank film, but we wish it were with every fibre in our beings, because it’s impossible to take Jaani Dushman seriously.
5. Rupert Grint & Ed Sheeran
Maybe after all these years of intrigue, the two similar-looking celebrities will finally come out and admit that they’re somehow related. Because, despite their rebuke of such rumours, they look like long-lost brothers! (The same goes with Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood.)
6. Tomatoes Being Fruits
This one even sounds made up. We don’t care what science says, tomatoes are vegetables.
7. Section 377
Is it too naive to hope that one of these days the Indian government will come out and say, “Hey, you remember section 377? That was all a silly joke! Because, of course, it’s beyond ridiculous for a government to dictate who and how people are allowed to love, haha!” Perhaps. But we’re still going to hope for change.
8. The Ban on ‘Lipstick Under My Burkha’
This one is so ridiculous, that we are compelled to believe that it must be a practical joke. The Central Board of Film Certification (CBFC) on February 23 refused to give the upcoming film Lipstick Under My Burkha a certificate to the film because it was too “lady oriented” amongst other things. We sincerely hope this turns out to be an April Fool’s farce, because if it doesn’t, then it would mean that the regressive mentality of our country and its people has reached new levels.
What do you wish was an April Fool’s Day prank?