I remember talking to a friend about our respective careers. He took up his sales job after lot of retrospection, which initially he wasn’t sure if it was the right move. He thought that life was like playing poker, you don’t always get a good hand but that doesn’t mean you are destined to lose.
I looked at him and grinned.
“I used to second guess everything, I was painful shy to a point that it was embarrassing. I never tried to have a conversation with people I liked fearing what they thought of me, until one day I had enough. The cycle had to break somewhere. I still am shit scared about making that sales call or talking to the people that I like but I do it anyway. Even though things won’t always come my way, I am confident that eventually, things will come around for me.”
He had made quite the speech, to which I acknowledged
Amor fati (lit. “love of fate”) is a Latin phrase that may be translated as “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate”. It is used to describe an attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one’s life, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary, in that they are among the facts of one’s life and existence, so they are always necessarily there whether one likes them or not. Moreover, amor fati is characterized by an acceptance of the events or situations that occur in one’s life.- Wikipedia
Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher had once famously quoted “Amor Fati- The love of ones own fate, which is infact your life”. More often than not, you find yourself in a situation that you never imagined you would be a part of. The situation demands all your attention to a point where one has to make a sacrifice. One can crib about that all day but that won’t make the situation any better. So from where one is, there are two things they could do. Either turn over and let the situation take over, or make the best out of the situation
I’ve had my share of tough times that left me depressed and discouraged. However, each one forced me to evolve and contributed to my personal growth.
- The girl I chased for the best part of 4 years rejects my advances. My world collapses and I think I would never feel happy again
Result- The incident led me to have a hard look at my life. I realized that I was jealous, needy and absolutely boring. From there began my journey of self-development. I realized the importance of taking responsibility of everything happening in my life
- While giving an interview at my dream company, I get over confident because I had never been rejected. That attitude costed me a potential job.
Result- I started to get a grip on reality, that I am expendable and I hammer myself to the point that I understood the difference between confidence and over confidence.
- While playing football, I break my friends nose, twice. Her mom is livid and almost lodged a police report on me
Result- I work on my anger issues and make sure that I run it and not the other way round. I realised that I was stupid to take out my anger on him and learn the art of self-control.
When confronted which the above situation, I was presented with an option. Amor Fati is the key of becoming the best version of yourself. All your versions, your failures, your shortcomings aren’t your defining moment. Your defining moment is what you do when you are confronted with them.